The Strib's Katherine Kersten regales readers yet again with her infinite wisdom, this time applying her mental magnitude to the wonderful world of home-schooling. A PeP translation:
Katherine says: Brad and Deb home-schooled their daughter, Jessica.
PeP says: Brad, Deb and Jessica think they're better than you.
Katherine says: Jessica started at Notre Dame this year. "[...] she had lots in common with other freshmen there: stratospheric admissions test scores, academic prizes and an application chock-full of extracurricular activities and volunteer work."
PeP says: Jessica lost her viginity in the back of GMC Jimmy after sucking on half a bottle of vodka before yet another Fightin' Irish defeat.
Katherine says: I home-schooled my daughter for three years.
PeP says: Katherine was unemployed for three years.
Katherine says: Jessica was just like everyone else growing up. "I was with other kids all the time," she says, "in activities like 4-H and the Greater Twin Cities Youth Symphonies."
PeP says: 4-H? Greater Twin Cities Youth Symphonies? Come on...
Katherine says: Jessica's mom loved home-schooling because "We didn't have to close the history book at 11:45."
PeP says: "We didn't have to close the history book at 11:45...but we did, because mama needed a gin rickie."
Katherine says: Parents "can nurture their children's minds and hearts free from the alienated, heavily conformist youth culture."
PeP says: Kids who are not home-schooled wear Jnco jeans, baseball caps, and try out for the cheerleading squad. Kids who are home-schooled join 4-H, the Greater Twin Cities Youth Symphonies, and wear sweaters made of homespun yarn. Got that?
Katherine says: Home-schooling only costs $400 a year!
PeP says: If that's the price of social isolation and a too-close relationship with my child/children...I'm sold!