Friday, May 26, 2006
My Pet Peeve
I had never been to a Cold Stone Creamery, which is odd, because Ice Cream is the bane of my existence. I am mildly overweight, those that are less charitable would call me obese. How appropriate, the sole conservative on this blog is fat. Anyhow, that aside, I decided it was time to pop my Cold Stone cherry. As I approached the counter still contemplating the various condiments that would push my obesity to the point of morbidity, I was confronted with what is seemingly a simple question "What size would you like?". Knowing the idiocy of American sizing regimes I looked to the menu to see what was this company's inane translation for medium. I noticed three phrases beside which their respective prices were listed in ascending order: Like It, Love It, and Gotta Have It. And I thought to myself, yes these look to be the potential "sizes" as the prices are listed in ascending order, but they can't really be serious. I was frozen and momentarily unable to complete my order. In the meantime the stupid clerk was getting impatient with me and repeatedly asked me what size I wanted as if it were all so obvious. Finally, I tepidly offered "Love It". And the deed was done and I had my ice cream. And the point of my post, well it there really isn't one except that I belive we should return to the days of small, medium, and large. I go to starbucks and order their coffee (regular, drip, no soy milk or horse jizz or whatever). I ask for a medium, the "barrista" or clerk goes spiraling into conniption fits as if I were ordering in Chinese. Tall, Grande, Venti. That is idiotic, three sizes in three different languages, the first two are hardly distinguishable. Think about it, the appropriate measurement for a liquid is volume, does tall or grande (big) indicate greater volume than the other. And then Venti, it simply means 20 in italian. Is a venti truly 20 ounces? If so kudos to Starbucks but maybe those idiots in Seattle could label their other sizes in a similar fashion. Or at least have all of the sizes in the same language. Better yet, adopt a sizing regime that was once known to Western Civilization before the discovery of the all important self-esteem: small, medium, large.