Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Governor Race/Vampire News

According to KSTP, our vampire-cum-gubernatorial candidate is in the midst of a bout with bloodlust...for civil rights litigation. It seems his wife, who happens to be a witch, was fired from her job as a bus driver because of her religion.

This is a bit of a sticky situation. On the one hand, I don't want someone's free exercise of religion being infringed, but I also don't want little Peter or little Madeline or little Hansel to be tempted by her gingerbread house in the middle of the woods, with its windows of sugar and cake-frosting eaves. If Gretel's not there to push the witch in the oven, what happens then? All I'm saying is that we don't want our children to be baked into pies.

Oddly enough, the candidate reckons that it's not his wife's witchiness that caused the Princeton school district to fire her, "They [the parents? the district?] are appalled at what I am, so they took it out on my wife."

As someone whose campaign platform includes impaling terrorists in front of the capitol, Mr. Sharkey is probably going to be a hard sell in the courtroom. And yes, he does at one point call his wife's dismissal a "witch hunt." Look it up. I'm serious.

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