Saturday, December 30, 2006

Drunken Notes

1. My dog just turned up his nose at my taco bell Grilled Stufft Burrito. Now some background on my dog. We found him while on a family vacation in Puerto Rico when he was a young pup near starvation. He has since acclimated to his suburban D.C. surroundings with aplomb. He is known to bark for Foie Gras. No, but seriosly, my dog can down five pounds of any substance in a matter of seconds. What does this say about TACO Bell that a former Puerto Rican street dog finds their food products beneath him (and yes, it is a him, we have not neutered him. I refuse to cave into feminist nazi conspiracies)? Literally he eats everything. What does this say about me, that I paid five dollars for a product that my dog will not eat? Secondary theory, my dog is named Taco (he looked like a rat with big ears when my parents found him, akin to the yo quiero taco bell dog, thus his name), maybe he is cognizant and thus resentful of his namesake and so turns up his nose not due to absence of epicurean delights in a taco bell treat but rather out of personal resentment? I don't know. But none of this bodes well for Taco Bell. Though, they can count me as a loyal customer.

2. Oddly, I think Brittney Spears is hotter now that she has been married/divorced to K-fed. It just amps up the whole trailer trash chic thing.

3. Cats are evil insolent, disloyal animals. I admire them so. My cat is named Izzy, I named him after Izzy Stradlin of Guns n Roses when I was eight years old. He was neutered, we fondly call him Izzit. He is now sixteen years old and has killed more mammals than Ted Bundy thus making him a bad ass cat in spite of his neutering. My mom is to blame for the neutering, I fought her vigorously on the matter, but I was eight years old.

4. Every time I am at an Irish pub, there is somebody with an Irish accent (who is not the owner) there. I wonder if there is some federal subsidy whereby the Irish are paid to frequent Irish pubs in the U.S.? Just a thought. If such a subsidy exists, I support it, and this is coming from a small government conservative. I think it would maximize some measure of utility (say the joy derived from listening to pleasant sounding feriners).

5. Brittney Spears is trailer trash chic, I am standing by this assertion, and that is hot.

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