Pick yourself up out of the gutter, 'Dingo. Ask yourself this question: Am I a man, or am I a mouse? Write the damn paper. Move to the East Coast. And get with the program. I trust you will find no sympathy within the Pie-Eyed Network.
That being said, we all deal with both procrastination and writers' block. They suck. Surefire cure: Just start typing. Type anything that remotely deals with the topic at hand. Eventually, things will start aligning and coming into focus. Pretty soon you'll be humming along.
My guess, however, is that you know what you need to do. Your self-importance and self-loathing just got the better of you.