Thursday, February 22, 2007

DonorsChoose.org

Check out this website. This is a great idea, the website is essentially a marketplace for donors and teachers looking to improve their classroom and students' learning experience to match up. Also, there is a good article over at slate about it.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Beer Test

With the primary season right around the corner (or a year away) beer test discussions are beginning. For those of you unfamiliar with the beer test let me provide a brief description:
Policy and party aside, a good many voters vote at a gut level manner, and in many ways this gut level reaction stems from the likeability of the candidate; i.e., which candidate would you most like to drink a beer with?

I will list the folks who have tossed their hat into the ring according to electability:

The Frontrunners:

Dems- John Edwards, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama (still waiting for Oscar night to bear out my prediction on Al Gore)

Winner: Barack Obama, hands down. I will not even dare explain why Hillary loses this competition as it will lead me down a road that ends with getting kneed in the groin by an unidentified party.

GOP- Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney, John McCain

Winner: Three-way tie for last.

If the Frontrunners Implode:

Dems: Joe Biden, Bill Richardson, Tom Vilsack

Winner: Joe Biden (see New York Observer interview, comments about 7-11 workers and Delaware's slave state status)

GOP: Newt Gingrich

Winner: Newt Gingrich first and last (emphasis on the latter)

Snowflakes Chance in Hell:

Dems: Dennis Kucinich, the bloke from Alaska whose name I am too lazy to look up (in and of itself not a good sign for his candidacy), and Rev. Al Sharpton (you know he is running- he gets brand new outfits and gets to expense all of his meals)

Winner: Al Sharpton

GOP: Duncan Hunter, Tom Tancredo

Winner: Neither. Both ask all servers and busboys about immigrations status, definite fun killer

Overall Beer Contest Winner:

Joe Biden with Al Sharpton in a distant second.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Pie-Eyed Crystal Jar Gazing (or something like that)

Its been a while since I last posted something assanine (probably my last post) but I thought I would have another go. With the primary season at our feet (or a year away but that hasn't stopped the politicians) its time to hazard an 08 prediction. I think Al Gore will announce he is running for President as he accepts his Oscar for the best documentary. Further contributing to the enormous buzz surrounding Al Gore, I think he will win the Nobel Peace prize (opposing the Iraq War, Global Warming stuff, though, I don't know if he has suffieciently sympathized with murderous tyrants to qualify)... and ultimately, he will secure the Democratic nomination.

Inconvenient Truth- He has just closed down his political action committee.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

D.C. Metro Rant Courtesy of Craigslist

For those PeP readers contemplating a visit to D.C. please pay special attention to item 6:

Metro - The Underground Hell of DC

How much do I hate riding the Metro? It ranks up there with ripping out hangnails and trying to find a parking spot downtown. After awhile, you get used to it, but you do find new things everyday that bug you. Here is my little rant - just listing my top 10 pet peeves of the daily Metro grind:

10. Slow walkers - People are going places. Take a Sunday stroll on weekends. At 7am on Monday, get your ass moving. If old people with canes are passing you, perhaps you should walk a little faster.

9. Examiner pushers - There are 2 free newspapers being handed out in the morning - The Express and The Examiner. Over 90% people read The Express. I think that the guy who tries to hand you The Examiner has some type of inferiority complex. He's gotten to the point where he's about to shove it in your coat pocket. Get over it, dude. Nobody wants to read your paper.

8. Conversationalist - STFU!!! I don't want to talk to you. We're on the Metro. Just look around once in awhile and don't talk to anybody. My iPod usually saves me the trouble of running into any of these people, but sometimes I forget it at home. I hate doing the "no-speaka-englishey" thing. No, that's not true. It's actually pretty fun.

7. Cell phone talker - I don't mind cell phone conversations. As long they're kept quiet and are over quickly. I don't care how trashed you got last night or what you have to pick up on the way home. If I'm not right next to you, I shouldn't have to listen to it. Oh, and I'm gonna get real jurassic on the next guy who thinks push-to-talk speaker feature is appropriate on the Metro.

6. Escalator Rule Ignorants - Repeat after me.....Left, Walkie, Rightie, Standie. Very simple. Stay on the side you want, but follow the rules.

5. Door Lurkers - Everyone wants to get off the Metro quickly. But if you're gonna be parking your ass by the door, don't bitch about it when I purposely bump into you as I exit or enter. And if you're outside waiting for me to get off, you better have left me some room to get by you. Cuz my laptop is pretty sturdy, and I don't mind using it to leave some bruises.

4. Turnstile Campers - Everyone should have to get a Metropass. These paper tickets are killing me. Apparently it's very hard to slide it in and take it out. If you actually turn around and comment "these things are really tough to work," don't expect me to nod in agreement. I might roll my eyes and mumble "Dumbass" as I look for a turnstile that hasn't been taken over by idiots.

3. Reekers - BO, perfume, whatever. If people are dropping around you, maybe it's time to buy some soap. If you go through a bottle of perfume a week, perhaps you should consider using less. If you can smell your own BO, you should be charged with a felony when you get on the Metro.

2. iPod Sharers - I listen to an iPod. I can crank it pretty high without anyone around me hearing anything. If I can hear your music, you're gonna go deaf pretty soon. When I'm trying to sleep, I don't need Ludacris cranking next to me. And why is it that only white, suburban guys in shirts and ties listen to Ludacris? Holla.....

1. Ass Spreaders - My favorite. I have literally had only one ass cheek on a seat before because the dude next to me had half his ass cheek on my side. Some spillage is fine, but DAYUM!!! If you're that big, maybe you should be standing. You lose more calories that way anyway. And I don't have to have the armrest digging into my spine and the ridge of the plastic seat pushing my boxer briefs half way up my ass. That's my rant. Thanks for listening. It's about time for me to go down to Metro hell and hang out with these people.