Asscrabs, listen up! O'Reilly is a blessed, blessed man. I had the opportunity (between a dose of Huntington's Who are We?) to watch almost ten minutes of his The Factor--(Pied, what does the MLA say about referencing television shows. Do we italicize or keep it real?) From now on you will refer to O'Reilly only as The Fat Penetrator (or just The Penetrator for brevity's sake.)
O.K. sorry about that. Back to his The Factor show. Tonight, The Penetrator blew my last remaining tuft of hair off my head and smack against the picture frame behind me. In the "Unresolved Problems" section The FP and cohort gave a straight off the hook shoutout to the hatemongers and character assissins who reside in bloggerdom. Nowhere in the entire piece did he even mention the Pie-Eyed Picayune. That's straight disrespectin', O'Reilly. I bite my thumb at thee. Anyway, here are but a few lowlights:
FP: mediamatters.org (Soros' outfit) and thesmokinggun.com are the most vicious of all; Bloggers are assassins, and he needs bodyguards, and security to protect him.
The Smoking Gun, you'll remember, broke the floodgates on O'Reilly's harrassment of The Factor production manager, Andrea Mackris. Although Mackris oddly resembles a tunafish, The Penetrator showered her (verbally) with visions of Thailand sex shows, vibrators, and loofahs. Really, the whole segment turned into a cry-session between O'Reilly and Jed Babbin from "The American Spectator". I don't want to think about it anymore. I'm done.
But Primetime FoxNews just gets better. Currently, Shawn Hannity wrapped in denim (er...celophane) and topped with a cowboy hat is attempting to fellate lizzard face Ann Coulter near the Texican border in Laredo. FoxNews is the best! Finally, to recount my physical injuries as a result of consuming piecemeal amounts of spurious media:
- My nuts were blown off during the initial of phase of Hurricane Bearded Matriarch-Gate.
- I am completely bald as a result of O'Reilly's death-rant against blogging.