Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Daily Roundabout

  • When Mike Hatch throws his hat in the ring for governor, at least he won't have to look too far for a security detail; his two lithe, buxom daughters go on trial Wednesday for biting and scratching police officers after a drunken escapade in Chicago. Those Hatch girls: beautiful and lethal.
  • The Strib stands up for excellence at the U and tells General College to stand down. The Dean of GC follows this advice by...stepping down and leaving his throngs of fans bewildered and lost, like Hansel and Gretl. Also like Hansel and Gretl, GC is doomed to die in a fiery oven, operated by none other than Fun Bobby Bruininks rather than some crotchety old woman. Oh well.
  • Colin Powell is further reduced to historical obscurity by having a Minneapolis "crack den" named after him. Dang, that's gotta hurt.
  • The official poster design for the 2005 Minnesota State Fair has been released. Last time I went to the State Fair, though, I remember many drunken fat people eating fried lard on a stick and not so many trippy goats licking sno-cones. But hey, I sure wouldn't mind seeing some trippy goats licking sno-cones.
  • Laura Billings takes a swipe at an ill-informed reader while suggesting the Twin's new stadium don the uninspiring moniker: Hennepin County Taxpayer's Stadium. Personally, I'd like to see the Spam Center. Eh?
  • Real-estate developer Kelly Doran has decided to enter the fold in the race for Mark Dayton's soon-to-be-vacated U.S. Senate seat. Who's Kelly Doran? I have no idea. But apparently he's a "centrist Democrat" whose cash account alone makes Dayton's net worth look like chump change, and his political platform includes the fact that he co-owns about three million square feet of shopping centers. So, if I understand this correctly, we have a white man with no political history or record of activism who has accumulated enough wealth to run a campaign for Senate without name recognition or fundraising in order to replace a white man with no political history or record of activism who had accumulated enough wealth to run a campaign for Senate without fundraising. Give it a break, guys. Can't we find a Democrat that's actually qualified for the Senate?
  • Nick Kristof continues his journalistic crusade for Darfur. When will Bush put money where his mouth is (or isn't)?

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